What...Again!?!

In 2005, I was finally ready to return to college. My health had improved, I had fewer doctor appointments to attend, and my immune system was strong enough to be around other people. I wanted to complete my registered nurse degree so, in January of 2005, I became a student again.

At Sampson Community College they had requirements to return to the nursing program. Some students may fail a class, or some may leave for other reasons. When you return, you have to repeat the last nursing class you passed. For me, I completed the first year which was nursing 1 and 2. I was scheduled to start the 3rd nursing class when I found out I had Leukemia. Therefore, I had to retake the 2nd nursing class, which begins in January of each year.

Things were going well. I had a new perspective on the curriculum after being the patient for so long. While I was in nursing school the first time, I questioned some of the things we were learning wondering if I really needed to know that. When I became the patient at UNC, I realized – yes, I do. I did not understand the important role a nurse had in the hospital. A nurse does not just hand out medicine and do what a doctor asks, they almost act as the doctor when one is not around. The doctor usually comes around once a day and may work at the nurse’s station throughout the day, but the nurse is in and out of patients’ rooms all day. The nurse gets asked questions all day from their patients, and the nurse has to recognize when something is wrong. They have to be prepared to have answers and respond to various situations.

As the semester continued, I began having a pain in my hips. As the weeks continued the pain progressed in intensity until I was using crutches. Now I was going back and forth to Chapel Hill again for more doctor appointments. This time it was an orthopedic doctor. After multiple visits, x-rays, and MRI, the doctor concluded that I had Avascular Necrosis (AVN). AVN is when the blood flow through bone stops resulting in death of the bone tissue. This is a side effect of prednisone. Prednisone was the treatment for graft vs. host disease (GVHD). GVHD is when my body and the donor’s cells fight each other after transplant. A small amount is a good thing, but it can cause major problems if there is too much. Skin rashes and stomach issues were the most common sign of GVH for me. Then the next step would be skin biopsy, colonoscopy, or endoscope to confirm the GVHD. When I had GVH I had two options – take prednisone and risk the side effects or risk dying. I chose to take the prednisone which resulted in the bone in my hips and ankles to be damaged along with other things. It does take extreme amounts of prednisone to cause AVN. I took these large amounts for months at a time over several years. 

The fix for the joint pain and bone problems I was having was a hip replacement. I was almost 22 years old and a hip replacement was not the best option for someone that young. The doctors did not want to do a hip replacement because they were only good for about 20 years, and each time the replacement in the bone would have to be larger. My small bones couldn’t handle many hip replacements. So, in my case, the next best option was a fibular graft. Both hips were damaged. One was worse than the other so they chose to do the least damaged one first. It had a better chance of repair than the other.

On March 17, 2005 I was admitted to have surgery on the first hip. During this surgery the doctor removes your fibula. It is one of the two bones going from your knee to your ankle. He drilled some of my hip bone out and placed part of the fibula in the bone. They also took part of the bone, ground it up, and packed it into the portion that was drilled out of the hip bone. Then a pin was placed to hold it all in place. For weeks after I couldn’t put any weight on that leg. Then it was a gradual weight bearing for weeks. As soon as I was able to place all my weight on that leg, I was scheduled to have surgery on the second hip. I think it was about four months later.

While I was recovering from surgery on my first hip, I stayed enrolled in nursing school. They would record every class and send it with homework to me at home. I would complete the work and turn it in just like everyone else. I was in nursing school for the second attempt, I had hip surgery followed by lots of physical therapy, and I was still going to see my bone marrow transplant doctor every couple of months. The way the doctors tested to see the status of Leukemia is through a bone marrow biopsy. I think I was getting one done about every few months. It was time to get another one, but the doctor was waiting a little bit longer until my hip healed more. I have had so many bone marrow biopsies that I have lost count. By early May, the semester was over, but I was behind and still turning in work. My hip was healed enough for the pressure of a biopsy. I really did not want to get one at that time, but my doctor thought it was important.

It was deja vue. Could this be happening again? I don’t remember much about that time period, but I do remember the moment when I heard that phone ringing. I was home alone heading outside, and again, I had to answer it. I remember answering the phone in the kitchen. That was back when we still had a cord on the phone so I couldn’t go far once I answered. The caller on the phone was Debbie. She was the bone marrow transplant coordinator for my doctor. We love Debbie, and it was not unusual for her to call. This call, though, is not what I was expecting. She proceeded to tell me the results were back from my bone marrow biopsy, and it showed Leukemia cells. This time I knew what that meant, and I knew it was not good. Again, with one little phone ring my life changed fast.

I knew there was always the risk of my Leukemia coming back, but I never considered it. I never even thought about it. I was shocked! I was thinking if the first bone marrow transplant did not work, why will a second one? How many transplants can a person even have? Now, it was time to soldier ahead AGAIN.

If you have read my previous stories, you may remember I was diagnosed with Leukemia the first time on May 16, 2003. Now two years later the date was around May 17, 2005 and it was happening all over again. I have never thought of it until now, but I guess you could say I ghosted nursing school. After that day I did not read another chapter in a nursing book, do any more homework, or go back to the school. I don’t even remember talking to my teachers again.

At this point, I have been diagnosed with Leukemia, had a bone marrow transplant, recovered enough to return to college, had hip surgery, ghosted college, relapsed with Leukemia, still have another hip surgery scheduled, and I need chemo, radiation, and another bone marrow transplant. What a hand of cards for a 22-year-old. That was a lot to process. It was probably much harder for my mom, worrying about her child. For me, just like I have said before, I could not change what was happening so all I could do was what was needed for healing. God blessed me with my patience, nature of not worrying, and not getting anxious over things. This was not the time to worry. It was time for moving forward faithfully. Praying God would work another miracle in my life.