Be A Match

The first four months of treatment were rough. All the typical side effects you hear about from cancer were part of my daily routine. I was in the hospital for most of that time so there was always a basin, toilet, momma, nurse, doctor, and meds close by. It was tough, but I knew it was part of the journey. I did not complain or whine, because it definitely wouldn’t change anything. Although everyday wasn’t bad, they had their moments. I didn’t think about what was happening, I just let it happen, and moved on to the next part of the day. There was going to be an end to all the sickness and hospital stays, I just had to take it day by day to get there.

After I found out I needed a bone marrow transplant, I don’t think I ever considered the fact that a donor may not be found. I was told it could take weeks or months, and it was also possible that a match may not be found. Finding a donor is like looking a needle in a haystack. There are lots of criteria required to be a donor. Surprisingly, blood type is not one of them. Markers within the cells of the marrow must match. Bone marrow patients can have a transplant from a related donor, unrelated donor, or use their own cells. At the time UNC was starting to do transplants with a patient’s own cells, but it wasn’t common. My doctor knew another donor would be best for me because of the translocation of chromosomes that I had. Siblings can be the best match, but since I did not have a sibling from the same mom and dad, I had to have an unrelated donor.

I continued on everyday, and friends and family would visit throughout my stay. It was nice when someone would come by. It would give me and momma someone else to talk to, plus break up our day some. Staying in the hospital for so long was just as hard on my mom. She stayed every minute of every day I was there. Visitors were a welcome sight for her. Another thing that got me through my hospital stay was my nursing class. They brought me a huge basket with individually wrapped presents. The rule was for me to open one present each day. Giving me those gifts was so kind. They do not know how much it meant to me. I did not get joy and excitement from receiving a material object, it was the thoughtfulness and joy of having something to look forward to each day.  It was very difficult not to open them all at once, but I knew it was worth it. The gift I chose to open each day was no mistake or luck. Early on, I opened a pair of bedroom shoes. I used them everyday keeping them at my bedside. One morning I woke up nauseated and very quickly, with no time to grab a basin, I vomited off the side of my bed. Where do you think it went? Yes, all over my bedroom shoes. Later that morning I selected a gift to open. What do you think the present was? It was another pair of bedroom shoes.

While all of this was going on, the search for a donor was happening in the background. I did not think about it much, but the doctor and transplant coordinator would keep me updated. To be placed on the list to become a bone marrow transplant donor, it is very simple. At any time if you see someone or an organization holding a drive, all you do is get a mouth swab. You can also join the national bone marrow registry yourself. The information needed is collected from the mouth swab and is placed into the national registry. When a patient needs a donor, the hospital can search the database and hopefully find them a match. If a match is found then it is a process for the donor to build up their cells with shots, and then the cells are extracted. It is not necessarily a surgical procedure to extract the marrow.

Being a donor is most definitely a life saving generous act of kindness. Leukemia and bone marrow transplants are becoming much more common. Other cancers and diseases also use bone marrow transplants as a treatment option. You could be that person to save someone’s life, or your friend or relative may be the one that needs a donor to save their life.

Finally, I received the good news a match had been found. All we were allowed to know about the donor was that he was a 22-year-old male. We had to wait one year and, if he agreed, we could exchange information. After one year had passed, he agreed to be known. I learned he was from Saginaw, Michigan. We emailed back and forth, sent letters and pictures, and still stay in contact. Last year he gave me exciting news that he had moved to South Carolina. We had a date set to meet, but his daughter got COVID at school, passed it to him, and was in quarantine the day we were scheduled to meet. We are still working on a time to get together and I can’t wait. You would not be reading my story now if it were not for Blake. I can never thank him enough. God is good!